We arrived on the first week of December last year and moved in directly to our two bedroom apartment in Mandaluyong my mom found for us.  We reconnected with the people we met during our first trip.  We visited my relatives over in Cebu and attended a wedding and also my relatives in Quezon City.  We were also invited to a company Christmas party by the beach by the Dutch businessman we met in September who eventually provided us with a lot of hospitality during our stay here.  Later on, our personal effects arrived here but we had to wrestle and play phone tag with the customs brokers to get it all done.  In the end, we spent a great deal of money and trips to North harbor just get it delivered right into our apartment.  We got them all now.

We started getting Globe broadband internet at home after one week of waiting.  Meanwhile, I was still unsure of what I am supposed to do here.  It was a confusing time for me.  My feelings about our move here were still mixed.  I explored various options.  At the same time I also considered it my Sabbatical.

In January, we visited Baguio.  The weather was perfect.  I explored the city a bit was impressed by the amount of parks that are still there and well maintained.  However, the city somehow lost its “charm” and “magic” that I had in my childhood memories of summer visits with my family.  Maybe part of it is the worsening air pollution and the scent of pine was not anymore there.   The pine trees are definitely much much less now than 25 years ago.

For my birthday, we also visited Kyoto for a long weekend.

A few more days .. and then next thing you know, we were at the brink of a major business deal with MrC’s clients.  And in a few days, we spent time, looking for office spaces and finalizing our deal with the Dutch businessman who would later provide us with our first team here of programmers.  We had our official office blessing in March and MrC’s father and business partner came all the way from Amsterdam to visit us.  I am glad that during this time, my role in the company is now more clearly defined.

I spent a great deal of time with MrC’s father showing him various places here in Metro Manila.  We also had a big adventure right at the crater of Taal volcano.  That was indeed something we wouldn’t forget.  We also went to Subic and drove through the scenic SCTEX highway.  I tell you, that 30 minute stretch of highway westward to Subic has beautiful scenery both sides of the highway that would rival any scenic highway in the world.  I am not exaggerating.  I am very much convinced that the Philippines is really BEAUTIFUL and BLESSED with natural wonders.  There are many places that one still has to discover.  And also, that Philippines IS NOT MANILA.  Many people outright judge our country by what they see in Manila but Manila is just its major city and but a speck compared to many other places in the Philippines.   Our decision to stay in Manila is really mostly driven by business alone .

For example when I was  in Santorini, Greece in 2006,  I thought  .. hmm.. why do I have this feeling that I have seen this before. Think Taal volcano.  Also, Subic or SBMA is also quite nice, it is somewhat like “Little America”.  I think this is worthy of its own blog entry.

In April, we traveled back to Amsterdam.  According to MrC, it was just a business trip.  He was right.  We were never relaxed and rested there.  We had to go and see people, and in between work.  At least I was able to spend few days in London by myself!  But during this whole 3 week stay my feelings about the Philippines have been more clear.  I want to be back here, in the Philippines and life in the Netherlands is certainly over for both of us.  MrC shared the same sentiment.  I also realize how nice and easy our life here now compared to there.  Ok, we admit, we got spoiled here.  We have someone coming over here once a week to cook delicious food for us and on other days we have someone come over and do housecleaning.  Our laundry is also picked up and delivered to us.   All for much much less than what we pay our cleaning lady in Amsterdam who comes 3x a week (combined).   We go out and have dinner or lunch as much as we want but we still prefer our homecooked meals most of the time anyways.  The amount we pay for an Indonesian or Chinese takeout in Amsterdam will buy both of us a meal at a fine dining restaurant here.  A 5 star hotel buffet costs the same or less as a Wok buffet in Hoofddorp.  A movie theater ticket costs 2 Euros.  And I haven’t told you yet about the pirated DVD’s … hehe.. that’s a secret!

I’ve been working almost daily now since we came back. We work Dutch time which means between 2pm to 11pm.  It wasn’t hard after coming back from Amsterdam due to the jet lag.

And by the way, we had a nice dinner with our team a few weeks ago and we commend them for their outstanding work.  Our clients are very happy and pleasantly surprised at how we are pro-actively dealing with their issues.  Business is good then.   MrC is working really hard and it’s getting to be too much for him — I could see it.  It’s time that we take a break so we stayed in a nice resort in Subic by the bay just doing NOTHING.  However, going back  It’s kind of getting hard again for me to work late nights.

This week, we finally gave in and purchased a brand new car.  We also hired a driver, who was referred by our business partner.  We know the guy already coz he also drove us before using our Dutch business partner’s car.  He’s probably starting next week. Geez.. if this is a dream I don’t wanna wake up

This week, our new plan has been slightly modified again. This time, we would be first taking a 4 week vacation to the Philippines sometime in end of May or June and go where we want to go and see where we really want to live and if we both like it there. I think we would like it there if we find a nice area we feel at home and where we will find talented Programmers that are willing to work for us. Afterwards, we will decide and make final plans to move our stuff and then I will resign finally. I have told my manager all about this and assured them I will give them time to find a replacement for me. But as of now, it’s all very fuzzy still. Suddenly, with spring coming, birds start to chirp and flowers bloom. The mood suddenly changes. Things become less dreary it seems, and my mood has been better. I have also befriended a fellow Filipina and I have spent an afternoon at her house singing karaoke. But although everything seems well now and I am very happy with the situation, at the back of my mind I want the Software Development business to still be realized and the Philippines is the only place that seems appropriate for us to do it right now. Not here, not the U.S. but in the Philippines. But what is it that makes me sad now, in spite of all this? It is the same feeling I had when I was about to leave the Philippines to accept a job offer in the States. I was having fun then, I hangout with great colleagues, and I was well paid and was a in a senior position. I was really sad about leaving this kind of life with a life that was uncertain. Right now, our life is relatively comfortable. We could afford to pay for cleaning and such so our life here is also quite comfy and a bit spoiled somehow. Weather is bad here but I like the cool breeze in the summer and spring. But yes weather sucks here big time outside of spring and summer. It’s the travel opportunities that I will miss somehow. I will miss meeting people of different cultures and backgrounds and seeing the eccentricities of each country I visit. I still want to see the whole of Europe. Believe me, it’s a bit too ambitious but I do still want to have the chance to visit these exotic villages in Europe and see exotic individuals in spite of the difficulties and culture shock that go along with it. I actually want it. However, the tradeoff to this is that I have to comply with the rules of my home country and this is where I have trouble dealing with. I’d like to realize my other dream as well – the business and not being pounded by bureaucracy and language barriers! Yes, I admit, I have a love-hate relationship with the Netherlands. I am both sad and happy about being here. I hope I can get over these uncertain feelings and finally be at peace with whatever decision we make.

I encourage young single people to not be afraid to go on your own and leave your comfort zone in our country but do not forget that living abroad means having the first few year of your life dealing with the weather, culture shock, loneliness, maybe language and a lot of money spent in furnishing your flat, and buying your car. If you are single you even have to deal with how to find your partner! As if that is not a problem in itself. But anyways, you came there to earn money also and help your family. That is usually the case. But don’t forget to take care of yourself first and foremost and enjoy yourself. Go explore and learn about your new country and get immersed in the culture. Know how people think and decide what makes them tick and what is actually the norms in their culture.

But at the end of they day, you realize you are just a visitor in that country. Even if you end up becoming a citizen. You find yourself dreaming of being back in the land where you were born. And the food yes, the real Filipino food that the Filipino stores and restaurants cannot even compare with. And worse, if you live in a country that is devoid of these Filipino stores, Filipino channels, Filipino restaurants and even Pinoys themselves — the homesickness is unbearable. You have no choice but to decide to be one of them or maybe decide to leave.

And then there’s the obvious potentials the Philippines has. Many foreigners know it already and they have been “secretly” or quietly coming there and setting up businesses and making huge money in the process. Some of us have developed into great entrepreneurs but some are still oblivious of the fact that there is really something brewing in our country and we have to be there to discover it.