Just so you know, if you just arrived from abroad no matter where it is, be it Sudan, Abu Dhabi or Guam you will be asked. Asked for what? Money. I guarantee you and I bet all my kittens at home that someone is bound to ask you for money within a short time of living here in the Philippines, and even if you are just visiting for a few days.  It starts immediately at the airport.  Some people would offer to carry your luggage for you.  And unknowingly you allow them to assist you only to know later that they would ask you for a huge tip.  Not just any tip but something big.. They will not even be happy with a dollar!

When you get to a taxi, the driver can either start by playing hard ball just to let you in and want to prenegotiate a price.  Don’t let him fool you. Insist on using the meter.  If you have successfully made it to step 2 then he will try to be friendly and talk to you finding out if you are rich.  If he decides that you are, he will go on pity party mode and tell you how hard his life is or that his car is barely working .. then it would hopefully lead you to give him a big tip — which would not be that bad if his car didn’t overheat in the middle of EDSA.

As you arrive in your resort, or wherever nice place you want to hangout, or even while inside the car aggressive vendors would beg you to buy their wares..  You would almost buy those things out of pity even though you know those necklaces would just join all the clutter you have left back home.  Why don’t they just sell me something good to eat instead huh? some crunchy snack or perhaps a shirt which I can hopefully wear after 3 washings.

We had our car repaired for a small ding.  It took more than a day for it to be finished.  The next day, we sent the driver to pick up the car and he was waiting for hours until someone from there called me on the phone.  He asked me to call my driver.  I called him and asked why and he told me the guy fixing the car is asking for money for merienda (snack) but he was ashamed to tell me in person.  Most people from other countries would find it too in your face if someone from the shop asks you the same thing.  Maybe there is a reason for him to be ashamed. But still he asked.  I think I would not even hesitate to give him a nice tip if he did his work fast but in this case he asked for tip even before doing a good job.  He says he is ashamed but it is false shame because he knows he is asking for something he doesn’t deserve.

Sometimes, you would be approached by people who would tell you they represent their local religious/academic/whatever organization and that if you buy their trinket you would be helping them in their education/whatever good thing.  If you decline, they would use the “religious card” and sell you something religious like a rosary or prayer card.  If you tell them you’re an atheist they will just admit to you that they are desperate and need your help so please GIVE!  I think the best way is to pretend that you don’t speak English or Tagalog.

Then there’s the extended family. Yes, this the hardest to resist.  You want to help them so you try to let them work for you.  After a while, they start to ask for an advance.  A little crying,  a little sad story and you are parting ways with money.  Nothing wrong with that, you are helping them out.. It’s an emergency after all.  After another month, they ask for money again and again and again and you wonder where it all goes to.  You want to teach them how to fish.  You give them a regular job but that’s not enough.  You end up sending their kids to school. Later you lend them bigger money and they promise to give it in “Four Gives” and you realize later that it is spread out in years rather than months.

Hey, someone’s knocking at the door.  It’s your barangay tanod. Did I do something wrong?  They have a piece of paper, what is it? It’s a Death Certificate. Someone died a few blocks away and his family needs some money for his funeral/burial.  They do not even explain in words what it’s all about.  The Death Certificate and the letter from the Barangay Tanod explains it all.  How much do I have to give? Darn! When will this all end?  A week after another Death Certificate is shown to me all over again.

A day before election, a young lady knocks on our gate.  She was holding a piece of paper.  When I asked her about it she just she mumbled and groaned.  I realized she was deaf mute.  I understood now, she’s here (again) for money!  This is sad but all these stories are true.